I don’t like circuses.
I dunno whether it’s the creepy ass clowns or the drugged animals, but I just find the whole experience strange.
Plus, I have qualms about funding gypsy activities. Running away with the circus never seemed like an attractive prospect to me. You were likely to join a bunch of interbred hoodlums who might do anything to a local community and not give a shit.
Besides, the working conditions aren’t great. Who wants to share an 18-wheeler with a monkey, two mongeese, an elephant and three Romanian triplets? Not me, that’s who.
And look at the stunts they do! It’s like a death wish every night of the year! I considered naming this post (5 Shitty Ways To Die in Front of Tiny Audiences of Hillbillies) but thought that was too direct.
Knife Throwing
I have literally seen blood spilt because of this trick. I say trick – in reality, it’s not a trick at all. You’re throwing knives at a person’s head. It’s more like a really inventive medieval torture device. Anyway, we have the Ringlings Brothers circus to thank for bringing this horror to our shores some 80 years ago.
Human Cannonball
Quick note here: Muppets doing cannonballs = funny. Humans doing it = scary. Worryingly the first human cannonball was a 14-year old called Zazzel, who I’m willing to bet wasn’t an eager participant.
Continue reading “The 5 Pants Shittingest Circus Stunts (And Their History)” »
