Have you ever seen a moustache and said, “Seriously… What. The. Fudgesicle?”
Very few individuals can rock an amazing moustache. A moustache coupled with a beard or goatee is acceptable most of the time, but being able to sport a moustache as your only form of facial hair and then be able to pull it off is really something special.
Undoubtedly, all of the male species has tried to grow one. If you survive through puberty and through your first public hair moustache, then you’ve tried at least once to rock a cookie duster.
This poor, poor kid had his new pubes sewn into his upper lip to create the appearance of a moustache
Let’s take a look at a few of the more recent moustaches to fail miserably at their shot with moustache immortality.
THE AIRNESS AND HIS MOUSTACHE
The Hitler moustache hasn’t been in real high demand since… well, Hitler sported it during his campaign for world domination.
We normal human beings had hoped that it would die along with Hitler when he ended his own life. For all intents and purposes it had… until this most recent Hanes commercial when I saw this:
MJ with a Hitler moustache!?
You saw it folks. That is Michael Jordan with a Hitler moustache! HEIL JORDAN!!
Seriously Mike, I’ll buy 100 packs of Hanes underwear if you just shave off that horrible snot mop.
THE PENCIL THIN
If you enjoy having the appearance of a serial murderer/rapist then perhaps the pencil thin moustache is your style. Sported by totally not creepy celebrity John Waters:
John Waters: Pencil Thin Moustache aficionado or massive Oreo consumer?
Although, consuming an entire box of Oreos and then forgetting to wipe your upper lip will create the same effect. This method will also allow you to eat your ‘stache if it isn’t bringin’ the chicks home… which it most undoubtedly will not.
The Experimental Moustache
There are a few moustaches that appear to have been created on the tail end of a bad idea or on the tail end of a night filled with too many Jager bombs. I can’t image that these lip toupees were worn much longer than to snap a picture to post on the internet… but we are the human race so I wouldn’t put anything past us.
This moustache is questionable (gimme a break... it's the best I could come up with)
Does this mean Tony The Tiger's anus is in this dudes ear?
I love the dark, forboding undertone of this one and how he highlights his tiny nipples at the end. Really quite fantastic.
They make Viagra for moustaches now
I don't know what the fuck this guy is trying to accomplish. Is that the London Bridge?
- I think I just found Kim Kardashians next hairdo
God help us all.
get back to gardening
moderation?